Tag Archives: self-deception

Affair Survival Kit

5 February, 2014
IHG Affair thinking kit

Over the last couple of months our posts have tried to challenge your thinking and re-frame your responses to your cheater’s affair. All too often support forums and therapists focus on the relationship/marriage, and largely avoid encouraging the pursuit of personal agendas and goals that might result in one of …

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Traps That Keep You Stuck

2 October, 2013
Infidelity & Affair Help: Chump Lady

Five Things That Keep You Stuck With a Cheater by Tracy Schorn Are you on the fence about leaving a cheater? Is this not their first rodeo? Here are some common traps that keep you stuck with a cheater and prevent you from moving on. 1. Hope. Codependency has been …

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I Didn’t See the Affair Coming: Self-Deception

2 September, 2013
Infidelity Help: Self-Deception

It’s a familiar story, a faithful partner stunned by the suddenness of their cheater’s affair. Onlookers/friends/family can often quite cruelly exclaim, ‘How could you not have known?’ Sometimes the affair really does blindside the faithful partner, and suggesting that they were in some way ‘stupid’ for not seeing their partner’s …

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Ignoring a Partner’s Infidelity

28 May, 2013
Affair & Infidelity Help: Go Ask Suzie

Can I Ignore his Infidelity? by Suzie Johnson My partner of almost three years continually cheats on me. I have come to understand that there hasn’t been a time when he hasn’t been with at least one other woman, all while claiming to be in a “committed” relationship with me. …

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Affair Help: Negative Thoughts and Acceptance

2 May, 2013

An affair can bring your self-esteem and view of the world crashing down around you, while you stand frozen in rage and disbelief. Moving past outrage and moralizing about what is wrong about an affair can be difficult. Most affair help offers very little in concrete advice for how to …

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Affair Help: The Mistress (of Self-Deception)

4 April, 2013

Affairs and The “Other Woman”: Lies Mistresses Tell Themselves by Lisa Merlo-Booth Affairs unfortunately are impacting countless families and relationships. I decided to address this topic from a different angle - the angle of the mistress. Below are myths that many mistresses in the world believe. While I understand how …

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Affair Help: The Happily Married Man

2 April, 2013
Infidelity Help: Self-Deception

How A Married Man’s Friendships With Single Women Become Affairs by David Wygant In my 15 years of coaching, women have come to me over and over again with the same problem: falling for a married man. The stories always begin the same way: “There’s this guy… he’s soo great! …

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Infidelity & Self-Justification

15 January, 2013

One of the most common questions I hear when talking to people whose lives have been shattered by infidelity is, “How could he/she?” When talking to an unfaithful spouse/partner, the answer to that question is very difficult to uncover. It’s common for the cheater to explain the reason for their …

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Affair Help for a Friend

4 January, 2013

What to Say to a Friend Having an Affair by David Trotter, reproduced from People of the Second Chance It’s not a moment that most of us plan for. It’s not as if we sit around wondering aloud, “Geez, I should really think about what to say if a friend …

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Entitlement to Infidelity?

15 December, 2012
Tracy Schorn & Infidelity

When the Cheater Has a Personal Epiphany by Tracy Schorn (edited) Did anyone see this article on Huffington Post? It’s quite a masterful mindfuck. Really, I think my ex-husband could’ve written this. It’s exactly the sort of faux remorse and parroted therapy speak that personality disorders excel at. Maybe I …

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