Author Archives: Wayfarer

Wayfarer

“I'm not a teacher, only a fellow traveler of whom you asked the way. I pointed ahead - ahead of myself as well as you.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

Did You Know and Why Did You Put Up With It?

21 January, 2015

Did You Know? Faithful spouses often find themselves surrounded by poorly informed people asking them, “Did you know?“ “How could you have not known?“ “Did you miss the signs?“ “Why did you put up with it?“ There’s a salacious element to the questions of course because infidelity makes great movie and …

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Je Suis Chump Lady

16 January, 2015

U Mad Bro?: The Trouble With Trolls For those of you who are Chump Lady fans as we are, you might be aware of her recent post, Chump Lady Talks to Her Trolls. Trolling is a euphemism of course - in this case it’s a euphemism for anonymous and cowardly harassment …

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Proof can be Weaker Than Truth

15 January, 2015

Proof of an Affair It’s standard advice on many infidelity support sites: Don’t confront without proof. It makes sense - why would you accuse your spouse of an affair without strong evidence that it’s actually happening? Why would you show your hand prematurely, risking that your cheater goes into clean-up mode, erasing …

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Can an Affair Make Your Relationship Stronger?

7 January, 2015

The Modern ‘Affairs Save Marriages’ Myth We came across a particularly nauseating article by Dr Michael Broder, ‘Can an affair make your relationship stronger?‘. There is a very simple and concise answer to the question Broder posed of course, and it’s this: No. Affairs are not red flags alerting you to your failure to meet …

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New Year @ Infidelity Help Group

31 December, 2014

We Aren’t Wishing You a Happy New Year … It can be difficult to wish people a Merry Christmas when they are in the middle of dealing with the fallout of an affair. A chirpy and perky, ‘Merry Christmas!’ often does nothing more than induce a wave of nausea, a growl …

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Christmas Day @ Infidelity Help Group

25 December, 2014

Wishing you all a tranquil and peaceful Christmas. If you find yourself here today for the first time dealing with an affair at Christmas and searching for help and support, my heartfelt sympathies and best wishes are with you. There may be users in the Chat Room but it is probably …

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What Therapy Teaches Cheaters

24 December, 2014

Rushing Off to Therapy When you’re flailing around like a dying fish in the face of your spouse’s infidelity, you will probably hear a chorus of advice sending you off a marriage counselor or couple’s therapist. On the surface, it makes a lot of sense, right? In our view and …

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Infidelity and Divorce: Divorce Day

23 December, 2014
Divorce

3rd January Named Most Popular Day for Divorce Happy New Year? It might not be a surprise to those who frequent infidelity support boards, but some firms quote the rate of divorce inquiries in the New Year as almost double the normal rates. Elizabeth Hassall, partner in the Gateley law …

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What Can We Learn From Celebrity Infidelity?

23 December, 2014

Celebrity Infidelity You might well be groaning at the idea of a post about celebrity cheaters or their faithful celebrity partners. You might even be rolling your eyes at yet another account of some tawdry affair in the public eye or yet ANOTHER spurious claim of sex addiction. I understand. You’d be …

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Denial, Dreams, and Divorce

22 December, 2014

The Left-Behind Spouse Most infidelity is met by one or both spouses knee-jerking to preserve the marriage. This understandable, immediate response is often replaced by one spouse choosing to leave the marriage entirely, leaving the other clinging to it doggedly (most commonly the faithful spouse), fearful and lost. The faithful spouse opposes the legitimacy of …

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The Halo and Horns Effect

19 December, 2014

Affairs and the Halo and Horns Effect The halo and horns effect is a common tendency to allow bias from the brief observation of a person (or even from a single trait or circumstance) to color the judgment of that person as a whole. It’s understandable that we make these …

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The Dreaded Details

10 December, 2014

Knowing the Details of an Affair It’s a question that gets asked frequently on infidelity discussion boards: “Should I ask for the details?” It’s understandable that jealousy, fear, and upset can lead the faithful spouse to obsessing about the other person and how their cheater conducted the affair relationship. Many faithful …

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12 Affair Rules for the Other Woman

5 December, 2014

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness Our societal structure supports our right to create the life we want for ourselves, and to work towards our dreams and desires - in fact, we are positively encouraged to pursue our happiness. Unfortunately, our single-minded pursuit of our own satisfaction often comes at a price - …

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Thanksgiving @ Infidelity Help Group

27 November, 2014

Our Best Wishes at Thanksgiving If you find yourself here today for the first time, searching for help and support because of discovered infidelity in your relationship at this time of year, my heartfelt sympathies and best wishes are with you. You might like to start reading a few of …

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Coping With an Affair at Thanksgiving

26 November, 2014
Infidelity Help: Thanksgiving Day

Affair Help for Thanksgiving The darker, colder days brought by winter can undoubtedly make it harder to cope with the sense of loss, depression and helplessness when an affair has affected your life. When national holidays like Thanksgiving come around, it can be a further painful hurdle to negotiate. It’s not …

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