Infidelity: Is Your Safety is Threatened by an Affair?
There are correlations between accusations of infidelity and affairs as triggers for violent abuse.
Before confronting your spouse or partner about concerns of infidelity or an affair, consider if you should have someone you trust nearby just in case, particularly if you or your spouse/partner have a tendency towards violent behavior. Consider perhaps choosing a venue where you could obtain help if you needed it, or identifying a ‘safe room’ where you can lock the door if you need to. Plan what you are going to say, how, and where, and try to remain calm. If you sense any hint of the situation escalating into physical violence, carefully disengage and remove yourself from the situation. The issues will still be there tomorrow, or the day after, or next week, when you can both perhaps sit down again in a calmer state, perhaps in a safer place, and tackle the issue again.
Be aware of your partner’s behaviors, particularly during this time of heightened emotional stress and take the necessary steps to protect yourself (and your children) from any physical fallout.
Most infidelity and affair situations, thankfully, don’t take this nasty turn but some do. Be conscious of the dangers and take steps to do what you can to minimize the risks. You should be clear that infidelity can bring out the worst of any of us, so don’t rely on previous good behavior as an assurance that your situation won’t mushroom into a violent confrontation.
We have a number of organizations listed below that might be useful if you need support.
Please don’t hesitate to call your national emergency number (e.g. 911/999/112) if you need help and protection.
|Organization||Contact Details||Type of Service Provided|
|In the US:Lifeline: National Suicide Prevention||Lifeline1-800-273-TALK (8255)||24/7 Live counseling provided by the Lifeline centers.|
|In the UK:Samaritans||Samaritans Email support: [email protected]
UK: 08457 90 90 90
ROI:1850 60 90 90
|Talk any time you like, in your own way, and off the record – about whatever is getting to you. You don’t have to be suicidal.|
|In the US:National Alliance on Mental Illness||NAMI Local NAMI AffiliatesUS: 800-950-6264||NAMI provides free education, advocacy, and support group programs for people living with mental illness.|
|In the United States and Canada:National Domestic Violence Hotline||thehotline.orgUS: 800−799−7233Canada: 800-363-9010||The National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) provides 24-hour support including crisis intervention, information, and referrals.|
|In the UK:Women’s Aid|| www.womensaid.org.uk
UK: 0808 2000 247
|Provides crisis intervention and resources for victims of domestic violence,as well as a 24-hour helpline.|
|In Australia:National Sexual Assault, Family, and Domestic Counselling Line||AUS: 800-737-732||24-hour line providing counseling, information, and referrals to local services|
|Worldwide:Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies||www.hotpeachpages.net||List of worldwide helplines, shelters, crisis centers, women’s organizations,as well as domestic violence information in more than 90 languages.|
|Safe places to stay in the United States:Women’s Law||womenslaw.org||Find state-by-state directory of domestic violence shelters in the United States|
|Resources for men in Canada and the US:The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women||dahmw.org
|Provides crisis intervention and support services to all victims of domestic violence and their families.|
|Resources for men in the UK:Mankind Initiative||www.mankind.org.uk
UK: 01823 334244
|Supports male victims of domestic abuse throughout the UK.|
|Resources for men In Australia:One in Three Campaign||www.oneinthree.com.au||Supports male victims of domestic abuse in Australia.|
|Lifewire provides support for the LGBT community, including crisis intervention, information, programs, and a 24-hour helpline.|