Disengaging the Affair Drama Queen

You’ve collapsed on the floor in a puddle of tears as you try to deal with your cheater’s ongoing affair, distraught and devastated by the bomb that has detonated slap bang in the middle of your life. You’ve begged and pleaded for them to stop their affair, to come back …

Continue reading

Affair Survival Kit

IHG Affair thinking kit

Over the last couple of months our posts have tried to challenge your thinking and re-frame your responses to your cheater’s affair. All too often support forums and therapists focus on the relationship/marriage, and largely avoid encouraging the pursuit of personal agendas and goals that might result in one of …

Continue reading

The Post Affair Life


Strategic Planning It’s been a little while since you discovered your partner’s affair, and, against all the odds it turned out that infidelity wasn’t fatal after all. Who knew? You’ve done all the right things so far - you’ve registered at every infidelity support forum you can find. You’ve read …

Continue reading

Switching Focus Post Affair

Feeding the Infidelity Monster

 The Infidelity Black Hole Your partner’s affair can become an all-encompassing black hole of pain and upset that consumes every available ounce of your time and energy. It taints every thought, interaction, and activity and keeps you exhausted, but unable to get a moment’s relief from it all. Focusing on …

Continue reading

The Power of Mayonnaise

Changing Yourself After Discovering the Affair Have you found yourself vigorously scrubbing the toilet with your toothbrush, considering giving yourself an industrial strength Lysol swirly, as the words, “You’re a terrible housekeeper” ring in your ears? Maybe you’ve swathed yourself in foil and plastic cling wrap like a modern-day mummy, …

Continue reading

Post-Affair: Rediscover You

Spouse Cheated: Now, What’s Best for You? by Stephanie Anderson Your spouse’s infidelity has provided you with something you didn’t expect: a chance to stop, take stock of your life, define what your needs are, discover who you are—and whether or not it’s who you want to be. As a …

Continue reading

Affair Help: Negative Thoughts and Acceptance

An affair can bring your self-esteem and view of the world crashing down around you, while you stand frozen in rage and disbelief. Moving past outrage and moralizing about what is wrong about an affair can be difficult. Most affair help offers very little in concrete advice for how to …

Continue reading

Affair Help: Cheaters’ Regrets

Affair Help: 9 Secret Regrets Of Cheating Exes by Kevin A Hansen Nothing rocks a marriage likes infidelity, and quite often the result is divorce. But once the truth comes out, do the cheating spouses regret the affair — or just regret getting caught? Many people whose secret regrets are …

Continue reading

After an Affair: Trust … and When to Let Go.

Trust After an Affair: Your Cheating Heart By Lee Nelson/Healthy Life Three years ago, Rachel from Schenectady had a lot of secrets. She was having an affair. “My husband knew I had an inappropriate relationship with another man — talking, texting, e-mailing and flirting. But he never believed I cheated …

Continue reading