Polyamory and Infidelity

Success with Polyamory and Infidelity; We Could all Learn a Lot by Tracy Deagan Success with Polyamory and Infidelity Ben and Claire came in to therapy with me to work on the common couples issues of not being sexually faithful and jealousy. They were unusual in the manner that they …

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Affairs & Immunity

Dr Harriet Lerner: Marriage Rules - Affairs and Monogamy

Don’t Think Your Marriage is Affair-Proof! by Harriet Lerner Ph.D When you feel threatened by a partner’s relationship outside the marriage, speak up. You can’t stamp out his desire for others, nor can you stop her from being unfaithful. But that doesn’t mean that you have to shut up, or …

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Affairs & Infidelity: Choice not Addiction

Infidelity & Affair Help: Psychology

As we explored in It’s Not Infidelity - It’s Sex Addiction, despite popular culture labels, the idea of sex addiction is not based on any diagnostic criteria and was again recently excluded from the DSM (American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). Claiming ‘sex addiction’ as cause …

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Affair Help: Cheating … Naturally?

Is Infidelity Natural? by Pamela Regan It depends on what you mean by “natural.” I teach a university class on close relationships, and the last few weeks of the quarter we discussed some of the darker aspects of our intimate associations — betrayal, conflict, violence, and so forth. During our discussion …

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Affair Help: Redefining Monogamy

After an Affair by Ian Kerner (edited) We’ve all heard the adage: “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” If your partner has been unfaithful, you’re likely getting all sorts of advice from well-meaning friends and family. Much of that advice may involve ending your relationship. Yet it’s possible — and …

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Affair Help: Reaction and Response

I have a couple of things to say in commentary for this article by Wendy Plump: I do not think there should be more infidelity. I just think there should be less divorce because of it. If someone is happy to be in a non-monogamous marriage/relationship, that’s fine - there …

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Affair Help: When Non-Monogamy Isn’t an Affair

Infidelity & Affair Help: Polyamory

There are numerous attempts at definitions for what constitutes an affair. Typically affairs are categorized as either an emotional affair, or a physical affair, but both terms suggest a consistent interaction between the cheater and another person over a period of time. These two labels alone (or even the term …

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Infidelity: Cross-Cultural Perspectives

Cultural Norms and Agreed Commitments There are widely available articles, views and discussions about the approach to affairs and infidelity across cultures, and which increasingly challenge the longevity of monogamy in human society. Monogamy is often cited as being a religious atavism and that it is foolish for humanity to …

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Infidelity & Affair Help: A Cure?

The title is a little misleading, I admit, but there ARE many people whose lives have been affected by an affair, who believe that their partner’s infidelity is a sickness. I’ve even heard it termed ‘a disease’. (That induces eye rolling to such an extent that I start looking like …

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Monogamy and Happiness (Part 3)

Mark White Psychology Infidelity

On Monogamy, Happiness, and Adultery by Mark D White Ross Douthat’s recent New York Times piece claiming that monogamy leads to, or causes, happiness, has stirred up quite the critical commentary, most recently from Dr. Maryanne Fisher. As she explains, causality does not imply correlation, and any possible causal link between …

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