Tag Archives: blame

Yes, Their Affair Was Your Fault

6 August, 2014
The Yes Game

The Blame Game Over the years we’ve talked to a lot of faithful partners after they have discovered their cheater’s affair. Most people who visit us are trying to understand why their partner has cheated and how this happened within their relationship. At this very painful point in their lives, people …

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Their Needs, Your Faults

16 January, 2014
Infidelity & Affair Help: Fault & Blame

 Unmet Needs: A Cheater’s Justification “If you had satisfied my needs sexually I wouldn’t have needed to cheat.” “I felt lonely in the marriage so I cheated to feel connected to someone.” “You didn’t give me enough time and attention so I had to look elsewhere for it.” Sound familiar? …

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The Trauma of Infidelity

9 May, 2013
Infidelity & Affair Help: Robert Weiss

This article by Robert Weiss explores infidelity and characterizes it as trauma. Dr David J. Ley’s article, Abusing the Term Trauma takes the counter-argument that the term trauma is inappropriately used by clinicians (and the lay person) in relation to infidelity. Mr Weiss makes reference to the emotional fallout and …

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Affair Help: The Modern Affair Myth

30 April, 2013
Affair Help: Affairs Can Save Marriages

I’ve previously addressed this absurd idea that affairs can somehow improve your relationship, with posts addressing this currently popular myth. This article by Dr Broder takes a similar tack, asking ‘Can an affair make your relationship stronger?’ There is a very simple and concise answer to the question he posed, …

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Affair Help: Abuse, Blame & Minimization

26 April, 2013
Infidelity & Affair Help: Chump Lady

This article ties in with yesterday’s post where the idea that a cheater was ‘driven’ to an affair by the faithful partner was addressed (or ridiculed, let’s be honest). Tracy Schorn homes in on the issue of blame being apportioned to the cheater. My only comment is this: HOPIUM? This …

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Affair Help: Driven to an Affair

25 April, 2013
Driven to an Affair

Sites like this exist because so many people turn to the internet for affair help, seeking advice, support and information. There are numerous articles (easily accessible) written by the users of sites like these, or by journalists and authors, and some are written by therapists or divorce lawyers. The idea …

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Affair Help: Cheaters & Getting Caught

24 April, 2013
Affair & Infidelity Help

Following on from yesterday’s post, Affairs: The Infidelity Epidemic, Kate Figes offers further affair help through her research and writing. ~ Wayfarer Why Adulterers Secretly Yearn to be Caught By Kate Figes Behind the worrying rise in infidelity there’s a surprising but poignant truth says relationship expert Relationships expert Kate …

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Affair Help: The Other Person’s Obligations

18 April, 2013
Infidelity & Affair Help: A Fresh Perspective

Helping him become what he pledged not to be: Another perspective on the problem of infidelity By Hugo Schwyzer (edited) I’m turning to an email I got from a woman last week. “Tara” wrote another in the series of missives from young (21) year-old women contemplating a relationship with an …

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Affair Help: The Business of Controversy

3 April, 2013

Infidelity is a growing and profitable business, predicted to continue on its upward trend. In direct response to the continued growth in the number of available ‘clientele’, there are many ‘experts’ rushing to the trough to gorge themselves on ‘affair commerce’ in their own particular style. The Business of Affairs …

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Affair Help: Excuses and Justifications

7 March, 2013
Psychology: Infidelity & Affair help

Affairs: “I Treated Myself to a Marital Crisis” by Aaron Ben-Zeév, Ph.D. Excuses for Having an Extramarital Affair “Whoever wants to be a judge of human nature should study people’s excuses.” ~ Hebbel “Fidelity is possible—anything is possible, if you’re stubborn and strong. But it’s not that important.” ~ Michelle …

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