Rewriting History

The Cheater Script - Rewriting History

The Cheater Script I’m going to go make a little wager here. I am willing to bet that when you found out about the affair, you had a conversation (or screaming match) with your cheater that had some similarity to this little scenario:   “Why an affair? Why that?” “I … Continue reading

The Post Affair Life


Strategic Planning It’s been a little while since you discovered your partner’s affair, and, against all the odds it turned out that infidelity wasn’t fatal after all. Who knew? You’ve done all the right things so far - you’ve registered at every infidelity support forum you can find. You’ve read … Continue reading

The Signs We Ignore

Suzanne Finnamore“I sensed he may have occasionally strayed in some of his past relationships. It was something I felt but ignored, a rent in the fabric of an otherwise splendid garment I thought I could mend. I thought I could live with it—I thought, yes and I admit it, that I would be different. That at the very least, middle age and children would slow him down; however, they seemed to accelerate his pace.” 
~ Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

Switching Focus Post Affair

Feeding the Infidelity Monster

 The Infidelity Black Hole Your partner’s affair can become an all-encompassing black hole of pain and upset that consumes every available ounce of your time and energy. It taints every thought, interaction, and activity and keeps you exhausted, but unable to get a moment’s relief from it all. Focusing on … Continue reading

Self Worth

Affair Help: Self-Worth“You can’t own a human being. You can’t lose what you don’t own. Suppose you did own him. Could you really love somebody who was absolutely nobody without you? You really want somebody like that? Somebody who falls apart when you walk out the door? You don’t, do you? And neither does he. You’re turning over your whole life to him. Your whole life, girl. And if it means so little to you that you can just give it away, hand it to him, then why should it mean any more to him? He can’t value you more than you value yourself.”
~ Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon

I Have a Life to Live

Paul Coelho Suffering“If pain must come, may it come quickly. Because I have a life to live, and I need to live it in the best way possible. If he has to make a choice, may he make it now. Then I will either wait for him or forget him.
~ Paulo Coelho, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept